Why I Walk in the AFSP Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk
Tonight, I’ll be in Chicago participating in the AFSP Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk for the fourth time.
If you’ve never heard of the Overnight, it’s exactly what it sounds like: a 16-mile walk through the night to raise money for suicide prevention.
People show up for all kinds of reasons. Some are grieving. Some have struggled themselves. Some are walking for someone they love. The reasons people show up are different, but everyone is there because suicide has touched their life in some way.
The event is organized by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), which funds suicide research, supports people affected by suicide, and works to reduce stigma around mental health and suicide.
People often ask me why I do it. Part of the answer is personal. Like many people who participate in the Overnight, I’ve lost someone I love to suicide. It was devastating and something I’ll never fully recover from. But the reason I keep coming back goes beyond my own experience. Being suicidal is isolating. Losing someone to suicide is isolating. One of the things I find most powerful about the Overnight is that it pushes back against that isolation.
You spend the night walking with thousands of people whose lives have been touched by suicide. Some are grieving. Some have struggled themselves. Some are supporting someone they love. Everyone has a story. One of the reasons the Overnight means so much to me is that it makes visible something that is usually invisible.
Most people affected by suicide carry that experience privately. People who are struggling often suffer in silence. People who have lost someone often grieve in ways others don’t fully understand.
For one night, all of that becomes visible. That’s true metaphorically. But it’s also literally true. On the back of the walk shirts, there are preprinted words: “I’m walking for…” People write names. They pin photos. They write, “To the person behind me, you matter.”
I often think about the people walking beside me who have experienced suicidal thoughts themselves. I hope they see what I see: thousands of people giving up a night of sleep, walking 16 miles, raising money, and showing up because they believe those lives matter.
Everywhere you look, there are reminders that suicide touches far more people than most of us realize.
Many times, I’ve turned a corner around Mile 13 and thought, “This is plenty. It’s 2:00 a.m. I’ve done my part.”
And then I’ve come across a handful of people standing in the dark holding signs and cheering the walkers on.
It’s a small thing, but sometimes it brings tears to my eyes. They’re tired, too. They could be at home sleeping. Instead, they’re out there encouraging complete strangers to keep going.
The walk is also about hope. Not because anyone is pretending suicide isn’t devastating. The people at the Overnight understand that reality better than most. But they still show up. They raise money. They advocate for better research and prevention efforts. They support one another. There’s something hopeful about spending a night with thousands of people who believe things can get better.
I also walk because suicide prevention requires action, not just awareness.
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is the largest private funder of suicide research in the United States and globally, which is one of the reasons supporting the organization feels important to me. At a time when funding for suicide research faces significant challenges, organizations like AFSP play a critical role in advancing our understanding of suicide and improving prevention efforts.
The Overnight helps fund that work.
It also creates space for conversations that many people still find difficult to have. The more openly we can talk about suicide, the easier it becomes for people to seek help and support one another.
While the Overnight is AFSP’s signature event, it’s not the only way to get involved. AFSP also hosts community Out of the Darkness walks across the country, bringing people together locally to raise awareness, support one another, and fund suicide prevention efforts.
After crossing the finish line, walkers enter an enormous luminary display.
Throughout the night, luminary bags that participants have decorated in memory of loved ones or with messages of support are arranged and illuminated with candles. Thousands of bags display names, photographs, drawings, and handwritten messages.
As tired as I am by that point, I always stop to look.
Always Loved…
with the angels
Kristine
You Are Needed!!!
Life is worth living
Matty 1989–2006
daddy i miss you
That’s why I walk.
Support AFSP
If you’d like to support AFSP’s work in suicide prevention, research, education, advocacy, and support for those affected by suicide, you can make a tax-deductible donation here.
If donating isn’t possible, consider participating in an Out of the Darkness Walk in your community, volunteering, learning more about AFSP’s work, or simply having an open conversation about mental health and suicide.
If You’re Struggling
If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, emotional distress, or a mental health crisis, help is available.
Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the United States. Support is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
If you need immediate emergency assistance, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.
Don’t wait until things feel unbearable to reach out for help.